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7 possibilities why something doesn’t work, even though you absolutely want it to



For most of my life there was always something that didn’t work, even though I really wanted it to.

I don’t mean the unimportant things , the kind of things that I will have already forgotten tomorrow. Like skateboarding for example. I just can’t do it. I tried it and practiced but all I got was bruises and ugly scratches on my knee. I gave up. But that didn’t throw me into depression. I could easily live without it.

I mean things I really want, because I think they’re VERY important. For example, if I love someone and I absolutely want them to be happy and experienced God. But they can’t make it out of their hole.

Or I want to be happy, but I don’t get what I need for it. Perhaps a happy marriage, a successful job, good health or financial stability.

I do everything for it, at least everything I can. I fight, but it does not happen.

It is usually associated with pain. Sometimes even with constant pain.

In the past few weeks, I’ve talked a lot with God about this and read in the Bible. I have found 7 points why some things just don’t happen and I would like to share them with you.

Maybe you can find out what God’s plan is for you in your seemingly insoluble problem:

James 4: 2 You fight and quarrel and have nothing, because you do not pray; You ask but don’t receive anything, because you ask in bad intentions, that you may waste it for your personal desires.

  1. You don’t ask

I have to ask. I have to ask God specifically for what I want. Like a child asks their father for something. Thats how I start a conversation with him. He can make the impossible possible. But he wants our trust.

Sometimes, however, the request makes clear why I want something.

Do I just want it so that I can be happy at the expense of others?

Recently I was very upset that my husband, Tom, works so much – especially in the evenings and so I told him. He asked me, “What do you want, Bibi?” (That’s what we call each other 🙂 ).

“I want you to take a break!”

“But that’s what I’m doing! What I’m doing right now is relaxing to me. ”

Then I realized, I really wanted him to take a break with ME!

Ask God specifically for what you want. The best thing is if you write it down. And then you have to keep a conversation with him alive. He will make your life as beautiful as he has made the creation beautiful.

Many adventures await you on this path of God’s creation. Adventures include getting yourself into seemingly hopeless situations and then finding the right path out.

Numbers 22:32 And the angel of the Lord said to him, “Why have you struck your donkey these three times? Behold, I have come out to oppose you because your way is perverse3 before me.The donkey saw me and turned aside before me these three times. If she had not turned aside from me, surely just now I would have killed you and let her live.

  1. You should go a different way

Ugh..that’s hard! How often do we think: THAT IS THE BEST thing for me!

This is the right way.

Eva: This fruit is BEST for me! It will make me wise and I will be like God.

Boom and paradise is ruined, which was really the best for me.

Can we accept that our temporal desires are sometimes not the best for us, because they destroy something in the long term, which is much more important for us?

The path with God is sometimes much stonier than the way we would like to go. But it always leads to the goal.

Ask God from your heart to open your eyes for his ways. If he could open Bileams eyes with a donkey, he can do it with you! 🙂

But sometimes there is no donkey in your way, but something else:

Cb (59,29); 59:29 But your debts will separate you from your God, and your sins will conceal His face from you, that ye shall not be hewn.

  1. Sin is in your way

In Africa people catch monkeys by putting treats in a vase with a narrow opening. The monkey reaches for the treats. Once his fist is filled and clinched he can’t get it out of the opening. He’s caught.

He can only free himself by letting go.

Sin are things that we hold on to, even though they are not good for us. They have an impact on us, our bodies, our relationships and our work.

A man fought a long time to save his marriage. It was broken. He went to many many marriage therapies, but there was no land in sight.

One day a sermon opened his eyes to the fact that his secret pornography consume had ruined his sexuality. From that day on he began dealing with his addiction. It took time, but his wife was ready to help him and with the freedom of pornography came back the healthy marriage.

Ask God for forgiveness and help if you become aware of a sin. He wants to forgive you and lead you to freedom. Usually, all other things will fall into place by themselves.

Another verse showed me why some things don’t work:

Hebrews 12: 1: Let us walk with patience into the battle which is destined for us, 2 and look to Jesus, the beginner and perfector of faith.

  1. You shall fight it

A fight involves an opponent. The opponent does not function as I would like! What a surprise!

My memory of ball games in school is a very vivid one. Volleyball. Oh my, what a disaster! Since I cannot see spatially, it was incredibly difficult for me to hit the ball at the right time in the right spot. This was, of course, bad for the team I was playing for. Nobody wanted to have me (:( ). My desperate attempt was to win over the opposing team so that they wouldn’t hit the ball too hard on our side of the field. But my attempts were crowned with little success. The balls came flying down at me. That was the competition.

So there was nothing else left to do for me than just fight it through. With patience.


As if fighting weren’t enough.

Well..Patience . I have far too little patience, I always want results NOW. It’s terrible. That’s why God regularly puts me through „patience-exercises“, which, honestly, I really don’t like. But that doesn’t change it…I have to go through it.


Cb (3,1); 3: 3 Every man has his time, and all the plans under heaven have their hour.

  1. It’s not time yet

In our society, we have lost the value of time because we hardly ever have to wait for anything. It is hard to believe, but in my youth I often had to wait until the next day, sometimes even a whole weekend, until I got to talk to my girlfriend again. Talking on the phone was too expensive.

Today I can have and do everything right away. I’m sitting on the toilet and want to talk to someone? No problem. I don’t even have to type in the number myself I can just have Siri do it for me.

Strawberries are available in winter and when I want shoes I order them online and they’re her ethe next day.

But God doesn’t fit into an app nor can he be accelerated by Amazon. Many things simply take time – and some take: A LOT OF time. It’s almost always the important things like people, trust, love, success and faith, that take time.

Have patience, trust in God and don’t give up. And something else will happen:

  1. your faith will be strengthend

James 1: 2 My dear brethren, regard it as a joy for you to fall into various temptations, 3 and know that your faith, if it proves itself, has patience. 4 But the patience shall be done unto the end, that ye may be perfect and untotheted, and not a want of you.

Through these exercises of patience, perseverance, prayer, re-trying, trusting, letting go and then trying again grows a perfection in your soul – like the polish on a diamond.

And what exactly is that polish?

  1. You should learn and try new things

1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I was talking like a child, thinking like a child, and was wise as a child; But when I became a man, I abdicated what was childlike. 12 Now we see a dark image through a mirror; But then face to face. Now I recognize piecemeal; But then shall I know how I am known.

Whether I pray, or ask people for advice, re-examine the Bible, read books and articles and then try something anew – I learn something new everytime.

You can learn throught new insights, but more importantly you learn through hands-on practice and simply by trying. We can’t be as mature at 20 years as with 30 or 40! We have to learn. Every year. Every month. Every day. No, we are allowed to learn.

Sometimes you win. Sometimes you learn.

And now it’s your turn: what could be keeping you from getting what you really want?

Kind regards

Yours Inga

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